


Alive

by Genius_626



Series: Joseph Moore stories [3]
Category: The Alienist (TV), The Alienist - Caleb Carr
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Why did they keep Joseph alive and not give us some closure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27476554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genius_626/pseuds/Genius_626
Summary: In the direct aftermath of Beacham's death, Joseph is taken to the hospital.
Relationships: Joseph & John Schuyler Moore
Series: Joseph Moore stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1247678
Kudos: 13





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this series backward, (or why it took my literal years to finish it), but here we are, finally!
> 
> Just because the show abandoned this plot thread doesn't mean I have to lol. This is the last addition to my little series, it's the shortest and chronologically the first.

I was completely out of my depth.

While Sara was across the hall speaking with the nurses and using medical terms I couldn't pretend to understand, Kriezler was with me standing outside of Joseph’s hospital room. Even now--with his hair askew, jacket dirtied, and shoes scuffed--Laszlo's usual composer shone through. If I wasn't so exhausted myself, I might have noticed the truth in his eyes. He was still standing after many sleepless nights, his mind racing after a hard battle won, but at such a high cost. 

The events that lead us here swirled together in the forefront of my mind, making it all such a blur. As soon as Roosevelt and his force came to collect Beachem’s body, I ran to find Joseph still unconscious. Heart pounding and limbs shaking, I still managed to carry the boy to our carriage. 

Now, all we had to do was wait.

I arranged everything at the hospital. In fear that they wouldn't care for him if they knew his true identity, I told them he was my ward. The lie seemed small when I said it, and it bothered me not one bit. I couldn’t fail him again.

Kriezler patted my shoulder, getting my attention. The nurse had come out of Joseph’s room, ready to usher us in.

“Go ahead, you should speak with him first.” Kriezler said. “I'm a stranger to him, my presence might not be helpful just as he's waking up.”

“I’ll make sure to introduce you properly later, then.” I said.

“Don’t forget.” Kreisler persisted. “You may be the only adult of his acquaintance who doesn't want to use him, in some way or another. Make your motivations abundantly clear. Reassure him of your genuine kindness.”

I didn’t know how to reply, and I didn't want to start doubting myself and my qualification for such an important task, so I simply nodded. I turned to the nurse and followed her inside.

There, I saw Joseph sitting up in bed. The color was back in his cheeks, but his eyes were dark, and I could only imagine the haunting in his mind from recent memory. He looked lost in his hospital bed, as if it were an ocean. When our eyes met, I hope I looked like a sailor. 

“Mr. Moore!” He said, his voice hoarse. His eyes were watering, and blow me down if mine were dry.

“Joseph.” I said, going to him. 

I gently placed my hand on his cheek, examining with an untrained eye a very large red line. He’d been cut, but it wasn’t deep and looked to be healing. He didn’t wince at my touch, so he seemed to still trust me.

“I remember you taking me here.” He said shyly. “I remember feelin’ so numb. Alive, but not really awake.”

“You were in shock.” I said. “You’ve been through hell, my boy.”

Joseph looked up at the friendly term, one I doubt he’d been called in a long while, if at all.

“I’m sorry.” He said, eyes glazed with tears unshed.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” I said without hesitation. I promptly pulled him into a hug, I felt his skinny arms reach up to grasp my jacket. I didn’t notice when the nurse left the room, I only had a mind for the boy, again in my arms. His small face was buried in my good vest, his slight shoulders shaking underneath my hands.

“It’s all in my dreams, Mr. Moore. I can’t run from it.” Joseph said, soft sobs making his breath hitch.

“I’m here, now. You’re safe here.” I said, knowing not what to say for some minutes after. I thought of the horrors that must be running rampant in his young mind. I thought of the life he’d had. I thought of how common his life was for boys on the streets of this great and terrible city.

I eventually heard his whisper; “When do I go back?”

I pulled away to look him in the eyes. “You never have to go back. Never as long as you live."

"But..." He started. I could tell that he didn't know what else to do, he'd known no other life. 

"I’d like to arrange for you to stay with my friend Dr. Kreisler, for a time. He’s the head of a children’s institute, he helps many children overcome difficult things in life. With me as your sponsor, you’ll have room and board, learn to read, make new friends, everything will be taken of. Would you like that?’

Joseph thought about it. “What about...my friends?”

I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I don’t know. None of you should belong to that life, and I'll do everything in my power to keep their struggle from the shadows, this city has ignored you for long enough. But I can do much more for you, if you'll accept the help."

I didn't know if he understood what sponsorship was, or what it would mean to be my ward, but I wasn't going to overwhelm him with details. Possibly, in the future, he could even name him my heir. I'd never truly thought about a future like that until now. Just the idea of the responsibility was daunting, surely, but it was also the right thing to do. 

And maybe my future wouldn't look the way my family desired it to look--but if I could clear a way for his bright future, it would all be worth it. 

He was quiet. He looked away to the door, maybe wondering what lied beyond it for him after all this. 

“I don’t want anything from you.” I continued, remembering Laszlo's advice. “I just want to know that your safe and looked after. I should have asked you weeks ago, and then you wouldn't have been taken. I hoped beyond hope that you were still alive.”

Joseph didn't look back at me, but at the floor. Pushing himself to the edge of the bed, he slowly made his way down and stood on shaky legs. I stood up myself as he made his way round the bed and to the door. He leaned on the wall, using all his strength to keep steady. 

“I’ll go with you.” He said, decisively. “I want to.”

I went to him, braced his shoulder to support him, and opened the door. 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this part in John's POV, while the other two parts of this series are omniscient. This kind of bothers me because it's inconsistent, which is probably why I didn't upload sooner, but at the same time, I think this part in particular benefits from first person/matching with the novel. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


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